Called Pastor Zo during lunch today..., it turned out that he really wanted a steady job so that his wife can have medical insurance. Those small chinese churches, ministries, seminaries just can't afford to hire people full time nowadays due to lack of money. Sign of the time I suppose. I told Pastor Zo his chances of getting into Boeing is probably pretty slim, given that we lost a number of big contracts and his lack of experience for the past 20 years... sigh, may God help Pastor Zo find a way... Pastor Zo's pretty cool... eventhough I couldn't really help him much, he'd still offer to me whatever he's got! Such as taking me to Huntington Library... he's some sort of research scholar or something so he can get in for free now. I haven't been to the Huntington Library for years, I've been too cheap to go, but I've heard it has made a lot of changes, perhaps someday I'll take up his offer with Pastor Zo as a tour guide! ;)
There's also brother GD's prayer meeting in the evening. On our way over, wife was simply trying to vent out her frustration regarding one of her current project... I offered some 'suggestions' to try to help her avoid these problems in the future, but I guess I should've known better that she didn't really want advice, but just some comforting words. I didn't even realize I've made a mistake until it's too late... and she got even more frustrated going to prayer meeting. Not a good start for a prayer meeting at all...
Anyway, today's topic was about how we can be used as God's instrument. I've also shared some of my experience where I thought I'm not a very effective instrument for God to use at times... Often times I mean well, but the result is just not what I was expecting... or not what I think God really wants. I'm not a very good witness within my parents. Incident with wife is another clear example of how ineffective I can be sometimes...
I'm hoping that my experiences will help me learn to do better, but then it's not like it's the first time wife complained about my inability to comfort. I do find that often times I'd repeat my mistakes without even knowing it at the time... When will I ever learn O God? I need wisdom. Lord, you promised that is something you'd freely give to us, right?
Anyway, today's scripture reading kinda answered the question I think. Gibeonites tricked Joshua into making a pact with them. Israelites thought these people are from a far away land and since they really seemed like they fear the LORD too, Israelites simply went ahead and make a pact to not destroy them without inquire the LORD about this matter. Whenever we place too much confidence on self, I think that's what'd get us into trouble. "I" mean well. "I" thought I'm doing good... or doing whatever for God..., but did I ever asked God about them? I'd typically consult God on major decisions, such as marriage, or buying a home, but I suppose I need to learn to rely on God even on the little things too. So I won't be "tricked" into doing the wrong things... Can I be a more effective instrument for You, LORD? Yeah? Thanks! :)
(Josh 7-9, 175.2 lbs, $4.559)
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