I think both the love of my life and myself hit an emotional rock bottom on Friday..., especially after we prepared and ate a shabu dinner with my parents..., well, it was planned well in advance, it's just that we didn't realize we would be emotionally stucked in this valley of shadow and death on Friday... so anyway, with my mom's usual nagging, it most certainly didn't help our situation any better. I did say to wife that she could skip the dinner if she wants, but she insisted on performing her wifely duties and to honor her pre-plan arrangement to eat with my parents..., anyway, to make long short, it most certainly didn't go very well. My mom being her usual self certainly can only aggravate our bad moods. Even with her special birthday present for the wife, surely it didn'teven make a dent either..., but it was a nice gesture nonetheless...
Anyway, I personally have given up, as stated in my Friday blog, I was already tired and wearied... I didn't know how to deal with wife's anger problem, and my problem is that I just don't know how to comfort and calm down the wife... I'm not good at that with my own mother..., I'm not good in that with women in general... I'm pretty good with kids though, not sure why women can be that troublesome... But as bad as I am, I did try, but of course to the wife, my attempts have failed miserably. Whether it's me trying use my lame verbal ability to try to comfort her... or thru prayer and fasting... It seems I'm just not going to succeed no matter how hard I try. So It's only natural that I give up! "Lord, I give it up all for You!"
Anywho, I may have made it sound like I'm a man of strong faith, but seriously in my heart, I felt hoplessness... so the 'cold war' with wife continues... I'm just going to sleep with Jesus! ;)
But later on in the middle of the night. Amazingly, we began talking... and not only that, I think God helped us to be able to see our own problems... and see pass the problems of each other... and feel more sympathic for each other. Anyway, basically I think we also came up with an ultimate solution to our recurring problem thanks to God. This solution will just have to remain our little secret for now... ;)
And this sunday, Pastor Jim's gone golfing or something... so it was pastor Dawn. She delivered an initially boring, but later on quite moving sermon about God's grace. About how God's love can be redeeming... how it adds value to our self worth... how it sets us free... the same usual things most Christians heart numerous times, but because of what we just went thru, it was particularly moving for me... because it is once again confirmed that God is not a liar... His promise to the suffering Paul that 'My grace is sufficient' is indeed the truth. Now, we'll just have to wait to see how His perfect power can be demonstrated thru our weaknesses! :)
Today's reading was about Journey to the Promiseland. We the Christians are basically set free just as the Jews were set free from Egypt. This whole life is basically our journey. Will we ever reach our promiseland?
We just don't know for sure... surely we all have the potential to enter heaven, but we all still have the potential to not enter heaven too. We may be chosen, but God still gave us choices of our own. Judah was chosen personally by Jesus too. So it all depends on our faith in Him...
24 願 耶 和 華 賜 福 給 你 ， 保 護 你 。
25 願 耶 和 華 使 他 的 臉 光 照 你 ， 賜 恩 給 你 。
26 願 耶 和 華 向 你 仰 臉 ， 賜 你 平 安 。
(Numbers 6)
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