What is #1 in my heart?

Last nite, I cooked my very first dinner! (Well, I cooked before, just usually not during week days cause I'm home pretty late) Anyway, my hamburger with everything in it was pretty good I guess, wife finished it all... well, maybe she was just too hungry... ;) My french fry was so so... it's edible, but I wouldn't say it's delicious.... ;) Wonder how can we make fries at home without using a huge pot of oil... Nevertheless, my cooking is always pretty greesy!!! So it's good that I'm not the one cooking all the time... otherwise we'd both be fat!!!

Work is still very busy, the cool thing about big companies is that you can still drop everything to go on vacations! ;) Today, I was reading about David. This dude became king when he was 30!!! How cool is that? I'm already way pass 30. I'm still far from being a king..., but at least I've managed to join in on this royal priesthood! ;)

Sure, we all would like to have David's good life, the riches, fame, women(or men depend on your gender), but how many of us really want David's sucky part of life? Would we want to spend most of our childhood alone... tending stupid sheeps? Fighting lions and bears to protect those stupid sheeps? Further, how would we like to be pursue by a king who wants you dead all the time? My biggest problem probably would be killing people.

The only thing I think I will for sure hesitate to obey God in is probably killing... for sure I won't have Abraham's faith to kill my own son... nor will I willingly kill all those who God instructs me to kill... Anyway, I'm just glad that I wasn't living back then as a Jew! And this is probably why I'm 36 and God hasn't installed me as a king yet! ;)

Is God really #1 in my heart? Well, surely David didn't have God as the #1 in his heart all the time too... for otherwise he wouldn't have sex with Bethsheba! Human heart is just too messed up sometimes.

Anyway, God, please guard my heart and my wife's heart too. Guard them against all evil, pride, or whatever that may end up corrupting us... so that we may fully enjoy the blessings from you without having to worry about them over inflating our egos... Anyway, just help us become more like You in every possible way... and may You also use us to help others to change to become better... to be able to love You and each other more. Thank You for Your love which endures forever and ever!

Obedience...

Daniel took me to a shabu lunch yesterday for my birthday. We talked and argued about faith, politics and mostly he just complained about how government and real estate market is screwing him over... ;) He said he should've paid more attention to the foreclosure rates instead of just seeing the rising home prices at the time. So apparently foreclosures or notices from bank on defaults can perhaps be a good indicator of the market's health. During '96~97, it was pretty cheap and forclosure rates were much higher... and based on this chart, foreclosure is inching up again! Wonder what it looks like for 07 and 08...

Anyway, the economy or the market is very similar to human heart in some respect..., they can both be humble at times... and then very proud in other times! Sure would be nice if we can consistently stay balanced instead of end up going off to the extremes.

Didn't get a chance to do my devotions yesterday... sorry God!!! Anyway, so I read more of Saul today. Saul really was pretty cool and humble in the beginning. Where did he go wrong? You make him a king... and then boom, all of a sudden, all the humility's gone?!?!?

Anyway, I think it all began when he failed to trust and obey God when he was ordered to destroyed the Amalekites, but instead, he used his own wisdom and kept some of the goodies for himself and he also spared the Agag king of Amalekites...(in the story of Esther, Haman the Agagite is rumored to be descendants of that..., in the movie Esther, although the king was killed by Samuel, but it showed the queen escaped...)

Bottomline is Saul disobeyed, and it all went down hill for him ever since. Ended up with this restless, injurous, envious or evil spirit..., in a way, he's still sort of a seeker of God, but God has forsook him. He seeked God only because of the good things God can provide him with..., he's not really a genuine lover of God... for otherwise, he would've obeyed better!

Hmm..., Lord God Almighty, please help us to obey You better! Even during times when we don't understand... or when we don't feel like obeying... please help us obey anyway! Force us if You have too! Please don't allow us to go down the same path as Saul...

Happy birthday to me!!! ;)

Just found out Lego is 50 yrs old. I'm 36 years old. Wow, I'm so young! 36 years into this life eternal, man, I have so many more years to go! ;)

This weekend was also my 'legal marriage' anniversary. We signed on the dotted line in January and had our wedding in July... so anyway, it's been a year already! Wow! Such a long time!!!

Marriage isn't going to be for all eternity, so every year counts!!! ;) This first year has been difficult, but thanks be to our God, we've gotten thru it safe and sound! :) Surely we look forward to many more years to come! Right, dear? ;)

We didn't do much over the weekend except to just spend it with each other and with friends... and we ate very well the whole weekend... ;)

Pastor Jim gave an another good sermon on Sunday. Almost felt like God giving us tips on how to continue to build on our marriage. Pastor Jim focused on Nehemiah 4... and he explained how a pessimist would focus on the difficulties of an opportunity, but an optimist would focus on the opportunities of difficulties! He urged us to:

1) focus on solutions(instead of problems)! The Jews faced a lot of difficulties, but Nehemiah focused in on how to overcome those difficulties!

2) face problem with faith! We dont' have to pretend to not have problems. Being a Christian on earth isn't about pretending to live like we're in heaven... we're NOT in heaven yet! And whenever we are frustrated, instead of taking it out on others, we can take it to God(v.4~5)! Further, besides just praying, we also have to DO our part! (v.9) If there's nothing we can do, that's one thing, but as long as God gave us the resources to do something, then do it! We ought to combine prayer and action! We pray in faith and act in faith.

3) guard our weak points! (v13)We are all weak and broken sinners..., surely after 30 some odd years, I ought to know my weak points and be on my guard! Don't give enemy the chance to slip in thru my weak points! It's also our responsibility to protect our spouse's weak points too.

4) build each other up! (v 16~17)Besides guarding our weak points, we also better not forget to help build each other up too! The Jews guarded, but they also continued on rebuilding the walls!

Pastor Jim also emphasized that as a leader, it's super important to lift up the spirit of those who he's leading! I think I'm a bit weak in this area..., I do try my best to encourage and comfort, but sometimes I'm just not very good at it I think... I want to do better, Lord! Pastor Jim also said that we ought to learn to encourage ourselves in the Lord like David did(1 Sam 30:6). I think I can do that fairly well..., not sure about encouraging others, but I think I can encourage myself in God well! ;)

Well, better not get too cocky I suppose. Today's reading was about King Saul, he seemed like a pretty good guy... and humble too! Not sure what happened to him later on. If I were to all of a sudden become rich and powerful, would I suffer the same fate? Maybe it's why God doesn't want me to be rich and powerful? ;)

I also find it interesting that Samuel's children weren't all that godly too. Everything in life is just so darn unpredictable. Anyway, I suppose if everything is so predictable, then life would be pretty boring, right? ;)

May our lives be more adventurous..., may my household be godly..., may His will be done in our lives! :)

Let it rain!!!

Thank God it's friday!!! Been quite busy at work lately... and I'm kinda sick and tired of it, but then again, considering that economy's not doing that well, I should be grateful that I have a job! Plus, over time pay is nice! ;)

Anyway, this morning on the way to work, I heard a message from a pastor Jon Corson over the radio..., it's interesting that he was talking about one of the judges I read about yesterday. Ehud, who killed the fat king of Moab named Eglon..., he's quite good at expanding such a short story into a lot of things... I wonder if he's over doing it! ;) But anyway, one of the main things I got out of it was the fact that Ehud used a double edge sword to kill the fat king.... and that is analogous to us using the word of God to kill whatever sin that's enslaving us!

Instead of appeasing to that fat king, paying him tribute, we ought to first 'hide' the Word in us well... and then when the moment is right, use it to defeat it. Just as Christ defeated Satan's temptations using God's word. Unlike Adam and Eve, then actually entertained the idea tossed to them by the serpent... and slowly allow serpent to twist God's word or doubt God's word...

So yeah, may God help us sharpen this sword and teach us how to hide it well within our hearts... so that we may use it during the proper time, instead of allowing our sinful nature to take over...

Today's reading was about Ruth. It just happened that she's a Moabite. As horrible as that fat Moabite king was, God can still use a Moabite to be the direct ancester of Jesus! How cool is that? A God that truly that only hates sin, but loves sinners!

Lord God, we know that this journey on earth is an endurance race. Please continue to encourage us and strengthen us to fight this good spiritual fight on earth until the end. Let Your grace and peace and love continue to rain down into our hearts... and reign in our hearts! Thanks! :)

Prayer and fasting... and obedience!!!

During last night's prayer meeting, brother GD talked about fasting... about how God doesn't really care much for fasting..., God would rather us just be on good behavior! Be obedient.

It's interesting that brother GD brought up fasting, it really felt like God was speaking to us thru him. Just a few weeks ago, I fasted... just 3 lunches actually... trying to drive out the 'anger spirit' out of the wife! ;) My motivation was that I remembered Jesus saying sometimes certain evil spirits must be driven out not only with prayer, but also fasting!

So I tried to do the same. Of course, it worked initially, but the anger spirit soon returned last week... mainly because an annoying students parent trying to change schedules again and again with the wife... that's what first pissed wife off..., of course the other reason was me and A-kiang were all too focused on the TV show we were watching at the time wife was on the phone with that parent... well at least A-kiang sort of sympathized with the wife... while I stupidly just told the wife, 'what's the big deal?' Just tell the parent "no" when you just can't do it... or just refund her stupid money! It's just not worth it getting all upset over that stupid parent!!!

But of course my natural reaction caused the wife to be even more upset..., because it made her feel like I don't care for her, don't understand her... and how can I still enjoy some stupid TV show when she's so upset? What the hell is wrong with this stupid husband? Can't he see that I'm upset?!?!?!?

So Satan once again was able to cause a rift between us. Of course having our prearranged dinner with my parents the day after surely didn't help our situation any... OMG, what is wrong with my stupid husband's stupid parents? What is wrong with them?!?!? How dare them say stuffs like that?!?!?

So the rift and the fire simply got bigger and bigger... and quite frankly, I really don't know what to do at the time. Yes, I'm one of the culprits of this spiritual 'fire', but surely I'm not 100% responsible for this fire...

And just as wild fires in CA a few months back..., am I really capable of putting it all off all by myself? If I know how, I would've done it already... so I do what firefighters sometimes do in wildfires, just let it burn until it rains. Yes, in the end, God helped us put it off!

Anyway, yeah, point is that even after combining prayer and fasting together, it doesn't mean it'll solve all problems... because problems are usually caused by our stupid behaviors in the first place!!! If we're all on our good behavior, then none of the bad things would happen in the first place!!!

Of course, moral of the story is not that we ought to just forget about praying and fasting..., moral of the story is that we should just learn to be more obedient to God. To act justly, to love mercy, and to humbly follow Him.

Today's reading was about the period of Judges. Yep, after Joshua, Israelites simply failed to obey God..., and consequently, they lived a pretty messed up life during those times.

Oh God, please not only teach us, but also help us obey Your will... so that Your will can be done thru us. We know that Your will will be done and yes, we rather it be done thru us! Whenever our flesh is weak, please strengthen us... renew our minds and hearts so that we may obey Your every Word. We pray in Jesus' name!

God help us!

Things are just so unpredictable these days... Stock markent can go drastically down and then up within a day... actor Heath Ledger died young yesterday... he's only 28!!! And we still don't know how he died!?!?! And even Starbuck is beginning to offer cheaper coffee with refills!!!!

What is the world coming to? ;)

Anyway, today's reading was about days of Joshua... The guy certainly had some very big shoes to fill after Moses was gone. It was probably why God said to him and the Israelites numerous times that they shouldn't be afraid and be discouraged... for God is with Joshua and with them! The big shoes were not really caused by Moses' big feet, but God's big feet!

I guess the moral of the story is that unbelievers are like the Egyptians. The so called Christians are like the Jews. However, for people like Joshua and the Jews in his generation are the ones who were really 'born again' and lived transformed lives! This journey of faith is basically a constant 'push' from God..., pushing us and challenging us to turn from unbelievers to believers... and once we believe, God continues to push us to instead remain as believers to become actual doers!!! This is how the Lord shepherds His flock into that promiseland!

Yes indeed that it's so easy to be afraid, to be discouraged, to lose faith, to lose hope and to stop love because we feel unloved...But as long as God is with us, there's really nothing to be afraid of! And there's no better way to stick close with our Shepherd than obedience.

Yes, for me and my house, we will choose to serve the Lord. We will choose to not be afraid, not be discouraged, not to lose faith, not to lose hope, and never to stop loving, so help us God!!! :)

Free Lunch...

Today, our cafeteria offered us a free lunch, a hot dog, bag of chips, 2 cookies, and a soda. It's intent was to let us know that they are done with remodeling and will officially be opened once again tomorrow. It's been closed for like a month or so...

Anyway, we engineers just can't resist free food... so the chioce was simple for me and Daniel. There were lots of folks out there too even as early as 11am!!! But fortunately the line moved pretty quick... ;)

And today, I was reading about Moses' last message to the Jews. It basically talked about the terms and conditions of God's blessings and curses... Our faith and obedience to God will basically guarantee us to be able to be fruitful and multiply... or our lack of faith and obedience would result in death and destruction!

God's salvation is free also, but for sure a gazillion times better than a hot dog! God knows that we are naturally unfaithful and disobedient, but may God have mercy on us and continue to guide us, attract us, or perhaps even occassionally shove us onto the right path so that we won't wander off to that road of perdition...

God had certainly been good to me and the wife by occasionally shoving us back onto His righteous path... Thank You my Lord and my Abba! :)